The failure to take action when a marriage is in trouble was one of the most fatal mistakes I made. I was intent on saving my marriage, but I foolishly thought that things would get better on their own. After nearly getting a divorce a few years ago, I learned about 4 key steps that must be taken if you want to save your marriage. These steps worked for me, they have worked for countless others and they can work for you too!

My wife and I had been having problems in our relationship for a long time. We had tried individual counseling and couples counseling. For awhile, things would seem to get better, but always ended up right back where we had been before. Not wanting to get a divorce though, I resigned myself to living in a bad marriage and just figured things would eventually work themselves out.

My wife hit me with the shocking news one day that she didn't want to be married anymore. It just was never something I expected to actually hear from her! I had always believed we could make it through anything and now it felt like a tremendous stab in the back from the woman I loved! Feeling an overwhelming sense of shock and grief and anger, I began doing anything I could think of to reach out to her. Saving my marriage was all I wanted at that point.

To make a long story short, my best efforts to save my marriage made the problem even worse. I later learned that I made a lot of the common critical mistakes that nearly guarantee failure! My marriage was ultimately saved, but only after I stumbled upon the secrets that would change everything and lead me toward the resource that allowed my wife and I to discover a marriage that was better than anything we had dreamed possible.

Here's what I discovered:


Don't waste time blaming your spouse or yourself. This creates a dangerous pattern of finger pointing and it stops meaningful change from happening in the relationship. It makes the problems you are having much worse and it puts the focus on "you" or "me" when the focus should be on "we".

You must be the agent for change if real change is going to happen. Regardless of what your husband or wife is or isn't willing to do right now, if your marriage is worth saving you must be the one to take the lead. Change starts with one person and you will be that person!

Don't stubbornly cling to the idea that you can fix this all by yourselves. Be willing to consider resources from an expert. We get so caught up in the dynamics and emotions of our own situation that we often "can't see the forest for the trees." I found a tremendous resource from an expert with years of experience at saving marriages that were thought to be doomed.

And above all, you must be willing to take action! All the ideas and desire in the world will not help you if you sit by and wait for something to happen. It wasn't until I took action that my marriage began to get better. You marriage does not have to be over, but you must be the one to do something about it!

This will be a tremendous beginning for the task ahead of you. But there is much more to do. You must avoid the critical mistakes that will hurt your chance to save the marriage, you must put yourself in a resourceful state and you must learn what specifically to do and say. It is all available to you if you are ready! You can read more about this approach here - Improve Marriage

Not to far back my marriage was in big trouble and I had no clue what I was going to do to save our marriage. . Does your husband or wife tell you were through? Except you know deep down you can save your marriage, then I'd like to offer you some very important advice that could change your relationship forever!

It really took me by total surprise when my wife started talking seriously about divorce. I had always thought our marriage was fine, dispite the normal ups and downs and everything would always work itself out. See, if I had just seen any signs then maybe I could understand, but I never thought it would be us. It's no shocker I was completely shocked that she wanted me out and was meeting with an attorney!

All the hurt and anger I was feeling are hard to describe. Not sure why I'm saying this, maybe you are going through the same thing now, you probably can relate. The only thing I had running through my head, is what was I going to do to save my marriage. What could I do though? I really had no clue, especially since I never saw it coming.

All hope for saving my marriage seemed to be lost until I stumbled on a few little tips that seemed crazy at first. I learned that I had been doing practically the complete opposite of what I should have been doing! Instead of trying to hold on I should have been stepping back, because the more I was pushing the more she was pulling away.

I also learned to change my attitude and perspective which had aided in causing more bad than good which are mistakes that most of us do had just made things worse by carrying this almost impossible to describe heavy load of emotinal bricks that weighed me down and really irrationally dictated my every move for the worse.. I had to put myself in a more resourceful state and show calmness confidence and control. With the little bit I had learned at first, I was able to move forward positively towards saving my marriage.

This discovery is not only the start of fixing my marriage but shaping a marriage that was better than me or my wife could ever imagine. The best thing about this is that it fixed our marriage, even though it was only me at first who wanted to save it. The key though was being able to see my marriage in a way that was different then anything else I had ever known, like a 3rd person. Something seperate from the both of us. Not to mention, I had to be willing to take some action fast, not set on the fence and hope for the best. Some of this may seem counter intuitive to what you would normally do at first, but trust me, it is not. This stuff works!. You can read more about this approach here - Saving My Marriage

If you are trying to save your marriage from divorce, it can feel even more hopeless if you are the only on trying. I have experienced the hurt, fear and even anger that can often go along with being in an unhappy marriage but still wanting desperately to save it. I'd like to offer some advice on how to save marriages that are facing divorce, based on my personal experience as well as the experience of couples who have shared similar stories.

The first thing that I learned was that negative emotions, while natural and common, can really hurt your chance to save your marriage. It is very typical to feel any combination of anger, hurt, fear, shock, jealousy, depression etc. but these emotions cause us to make very critical mistakes. When you do things like crying and begging and pleading with your spouse, or constant phone calls or emails, or argue angrily you are making yourself even less desirable and reinforcing their decision to leave you. Instead, you need to put yourself in a more resourceful state that allows you to remain calm and rational.

In addition you should not participate in the "blame game." It makes absolutely no difference right now who did what or who said what to whom. If saving your marriage is your goal, then stop worrying about the circumstances that might have led you to this point and dedicate yourself 100% to saving your marriage. This is even more critical if you are the only one trying right now. The idea that marriage is a 50/50 proposition may have to be squashed.

And finally, Newton's Third Law states that "with every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." There are very specific actions you can take that will be far superior and infinitely more effective than what you have probably been doing. If your very best thinking has got you to this point, then consider that maybe there is a better way! By doing certain things and saying certain things, you will change the dynamics of the relationship with your spouse.

One final note. Don't be discouraged if you've already tried marriage counseling and weren't successful. Traditional marriage counseling only has about a 20% success rate at saving marriages. Many marriages were actually damaged even further with the help of these so called "experts".

You are the only one who knows what will happen if you don't take action to save your marriage! The approach I discovered has been so successful that it was featured on Dateline NBC and has nearly a 90% success rate! It works even when only one partner wants to save the marriage! With a 90% success rate it is probably something that you should take a look at. Your marriage is in trouble right now and you have the power to do something about it! This approach is 100% guaranteed to work so you have nothing to lose by trying but everything to lose by not trying. Over 60,000 couples were able to here - save marriages that are facing divorce - by using this powerful resource. If they saved their marriages then you can save your marriage too! Good luck to you and your spouse!

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